Monday, August 31, 2009
The Physics and Chemistry Of Love
The Physics and Chemistry of LoveLove, like all things bound to the universe, is non existent without some amount of physics and chemistry attached to it. As a scientist cynically pointed out, cupid’s arrows would never have been effective if they had not been first dipped in one unromantically named chemical- phenylethylamine.
Nor would the human body’s reaction have given us dramas like Romeo and Juliet, if oxytocin did not have its way. Together these two form the chemistry of love. The common symptoms of love, including sweaty palms, shaky knees and general restlessness, are caused by a natural chemical, Phenylethylamine (commonly dubbed the `love molecule'). Its release from the brain can be triggered from deceptively simple actions like the meeting of the eyes or touching of the hands. Heady emotions, racing pulses and heavy breathing results, and all these are (unfortunately) clinically explained as an overdose of this chemical. A very interesting thing is that chocolate is known to have very high level of this chemical…perhaps that’s the reason why it is considered a perfect gift for valentine. Or for your sweetheart. The latest discovery is the arrangement of molecules in this chemicals and the whole world is excited because now, like the witches of the yore, we can actually concoct love potions. In other words, mankind could be on its way to isolating the chemical compound and making drugs that can induce these reactions in us, in other words….you take the drug, and you fall in love with the next person you see. Imagine the chaos that the world will face. But the scientists say that as of now, this discovery will be used to find out how it can help in some other chemical reactions, to cure disease or other, more useful pursuits and research (though everyone agrees what can be more useful than making someone fall with in love you!!!!) At this point of time, research on the phenylethylamine molecule breakthrough could be extremely helpful in testing of chemicals related to mental illness. Parkinson’s disease could be one. So what are we left with? Explanations, but nothing is still in our hands. What we know about love is still largely out of our control. For instance, infatuation. This is supposedly the first stage of falling in love, an unbearable attraction towards someone. This attraction causes a virtual explosion of nuerochemicals very similar to adrenalin. Assisted by Phenylethylamine (that speeds up the flow of information between cells), dopamine (that makes us glow and feel good), and norepinephrine (that stimulates the production of adrenalin), make our world go round, our eyes sparkle and our heart beat faster. Our entire existence then depends on the sight of the person who triggered these reactions to begin with, and as the addiction to the chemical grows stronger, our attraction becomes greater. At this stage we commit foolish mistakes which are the stuff puppy love stories are made of. Actually it is these three chemicals that combine to give us what we call infatuation. We feel we are energized, often floating on air…and the reason why people who are just falling in love can talk for hours on end… (the same person becomes boring at a later stage). We can blame our chemicals for everything. We had a list of attributes ready for matching, but we just end up falling in love with the person who possesses none of them…it is , as they say, chemistry. Social obligations, other relationships, sense and sensibility, all take a back seat; our mind soars with these natural drugs. No wonder, a lover and a madman are said to be alike. Scientists also opine that this `clicking’ would be with a person with whom we can identify a parent-child situation. A person who, in our subconscious, will give us back something we feel we lost during our growing up years. For some it is security, for some others, it is warmth, and then others, just a spirit of adventure. This could be the reason why demure, well brought up girls usually fall for wastrels. This subconscious selection of mate gets our phenylethylamines and other chemicals moving. This period when our brain is awash with the love hormones lasts for different durations in different people, between six months to three years. In most of us, it settles down after that. For mercurial people, this high is missed and that’s the reason why they need another temporary high….another relationship, another chemical fix. If these love junkies stay married, they will need new relationships to keep their dope, and sometimes, bigger highs. hence bigger risks. In this world of chemical signals, humans are not scientifically considered monogamous; we do not fall under the 3% of the species that are monogamous. The species that stick to one mate usually have a rich flow of another chemical called vasopressin, the monogamy chemical. Experiments done with males injected with this chemical brought out all the evidence needed. Isolating males before and after mating showed that before mating, he was indifferent to all females. But 24 hours after mating, he is hooked for life. The jealous husband syndrome sets in too. Another interesting chemical is oxytoxin, the `cuddling ‘chemical. It promotes the need to be physically held, have close contact with he mate and makes both the sexes more caring. It can be released simply by a lover’s look, smell or even a fantasy. So much for the chemistry of infatuation. When infatuation subsides, another chemical takes over, which is responsible for intimate relationships. These chemicals are created by endorphins. They make a relationship steadier, intimate, dependable, warm and a great sharing experience. They do not induce a giddy high, but calmness and stability…hence are the reason why people stay married. The longer they are married, the longer two people stay together, because this chemical is addictive. It is endorphins that trigger grief on a spouse’s death or long separation, those yearnings for togetherness. The two types of attachments can be summed up as follows…adrenaline love is being in love with the idea of being in love. While endorphins, we like loving someone. So much for the magic of love and the realms written on it. It did come out of a bottle after all….and continues to afflict us….generations after generation.
By Kanika GoswamiPublished: 3/27/2004
Nor would the human body’s reaction have given us dramas like Romeo and Juliet, if oxytocin did not have its way. Together these two form the chemistry of love. The common symptoms of love, including sweaty palms, shaky knees and general restlessness, are caused by a natural chemical, Phenylethylamine (commonly dubbed the `love molecule'). Its release from the brain can be triggered from deceptively simple actions like the meeting of the eyes or touching of the hands. Heady emotions, racing pulses and heavy breathing results, and all these are (unfortunately) clinically explained as an overdose of this chemical. A very interesting thing is that chocolate is known to have very high level of this chemical…perhaps that’s the reason why it is considered a perfect gift for valentine. Or for your sweetheart. The latest discovery is the arrangement of molecules in this chemicals and the whole world is excited because now, like the witches of the yore, we can actually concoct love potions. In other words, mankind could be on its way to isolating the chemical compound and making drugs that can induce these reactions in us, in other words….you take the drug, and you fall in love with the next person you see. Imagine the chaos that the world will face. But the scientists say that as of now, this discovery will be used to find out how it can help in some other chemical reactions, to cure disease or other, more useful pursuits and research (though everyone agrees what can be more useful than making someone fall with in love you!!!!) At this point of time, research on the phenylethylamine molecule breakthrough could be extremely helpful in testing of chemicals related to mental illness. Parkinson’s disease could be one. So what are we left with? Explanations, but nothing is still in our hands. What we know about love is still largely out of our control. For instance, infatuation. This is supposedly the first stage of falling in love, an unbearable attraction towards someone. This attraction causes a virtual explosion of nuerochemicals very similar to adrenalin. Assisted by Phenylethylamine (that speeds up the flow of information between cells), dopamine (that makes us glow and feel good), and norepinephrine (that stimulates the production of adrenalin), make our world go round, our eyes sparkle and our heart beat faster. Our entire existence then depends on the sight of the person who triggered these reactions to begin with, and as the addiction to the chemical grows stronger, our attraction becomes greater. At this stage we commit foolish mistakes which are the stuff puppy love stories are made of. Actually it is these three chemicals that combine to give us what we call infatuation. We feel we are energized, often floating on air…and the reason why people who are just falling in love can talk for hours on end… (the same person becomes boring at a later stage). We can blame our chemicals for everything. We had a list of attributes ready for matching, but we just end up falling in love with the person who possesses none of them…it is , as they say, chemistry. Social obligations, other relationships, sense and sensibility, all take a back seat; our mind soars with these natural drugs. No wonder, a lover and a madman are said to be alike. Scientists also opine that this `clicking’ would be with a person with whom we can identify a parent-child situation. A person who, in our subconscious, will give us back something we feel we lost during our growing up years. For some it is security, for some others, it is warmth, and then others, just a spirit of adventure. This could be the reason why demure, well brought up girls usually fall for wastrels. This subconscious selection of mate gets our phenylethylamines and other chemicals moving. This period when our brain is awash with the love hormones lasts for different durations in different people, between six months to three years. In most of us, it settles down after that. For mercurial people, this high is missed and that’s the reason why they need another temporary high….another relationship, another chemical fix. If these love junkies stay married, they will need new relationships to keep their dope, and sometimes, bigger highs. hence bigger risks. In this world of chemical signals, humans are not scientifically considered monogamous; we do not fall under the 3% of the species that are monogamous. The species that stick to one mate usually have a rich flow of another chemical called vasopressin, the monogamy chemical. Experiments done with males injected with this chemical brought out all the evidence needed. Isolating males before and after mating showed that before mating, he was indifferent to all females. But 24 hours after mating, he is hooked for life. The jealous husband syndrome sets in too. Another interesting chemical is oxytoxin, the `cuddling ‘chemical. It promotes the need to be physically held, have close contact with he mate and makes both the sexes more caring. It can be released simply by a lover’s look, smell or even a fantasy. So much for the chemistry of infatuation. When infatuation subsides, another chemical takes over, which is responsible for intimate relationships. These chemicals are created by endorphins. They make a relationship steadier, intimate, dependable, warm and a great sharing experience. They do not induce a giddy high, but calmness and stability…hence are the reason why people stay married. The longer they are married, the longer two people stay together, because this chemical is addictive. It is endorphins that trigger grief on a spouse’s death or long separation, those yearnings for togetherness. The two types of attachments can be summed up as follows…adrenaline love is being in love with the idea of being in love. While endorphins, we like loving someone. So much for the magic of love and the realms written on it. It did come out of a bottle after all….and continues to afflict us….generations after generation.
By Kanika GoswamiPublished: 3/27/2004
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic LoveBased on Groundbreaking Research, a Renowned Anthropologist Sheds New Light on the Mysteries of Romantic Attraction. The experience of romantic love -- the elation, mood swings, sleeplessness, and obsession -- cuts across time, geography, and gender.
By Helen Fisher, Ph.D. Published by Henry Holt February 2004; $25.00US/$36.95CAN; 0-8050-6913-5 Based on Groundbreaking Research, a Renowned Anthropologist Sheds New Light on the Mysteries of Romantic Attraction. The experience of romantic love -- the elation, mood swings, sleeplessness, and obsession -- cuts across time, geography, and gender. Until now, our understanding of love has largely been shaped by the wisdom of poets, the anecdotes of the lovestruck, the observations of psychologists, and the musings of brokenhearted musicians. In Why We Love, Helen Fisher offers new insight into this universal phenomenon based on her innovative scientific research. Working with a team of scientists to scan the brains of people who had just fallen madly in love, Fisher and her colleagues proved at last what psychologists had only suspected: when you fall in love, specific areas of the brain "light up" with increased blood flow. Using this data, she concludes that romantic passion is, in fact, hardwired into our brains by millions of years of evolution. It is not an emotion; it is a drive as powerful as hunger. In this fascinating look at our most fundamental urge, Fisher reveals exactly what you experience when you fall in love, why you choose one person rather than another, and how romantic love biologically affects your sex drive and your feelings of attachment to a partner. She shows that all animals feel romantic attraction, that love at first sight comes out of nature, and that human romance evolved for reasons crucial to survival. She also discusses differences in the male and female brains, and what this means for the way we love. Last, she offers concrete suggestions on how to control this ancient passion, and she optimistically explores the future of romantic love in our modern chaotic world. Provocative, enlightening, and persuasive, Why We Love offers radical new answers to age-old questions: What is love? Why do we fall in love? And how can we keep love alive? Author Helen Fisher, Ph.D., is one of this country's most prominent anthropologists. Prior to becoming a research professor at Rutgers University, she was a research associate at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City. Dr. Fisher has conducted extensive research on the evolution, expression, and chemistry of love. Her two most recent books, The First Sex and Anatomy of Love, were New York Times Notable Books. She grew up in Connecticut and lives in New York City. For more information, please visit www.writtenvoices.com Reviews "The most comprehensive and comprehensible account I have ever read of the brain chemistry of attachment. Read it and learn some of the most important lessons anyone can achieve: how and why we -- and other living things -- love." --David P. Barash, professor of psychology, University of Washington, author of The Survival Game and The Myth of Monogamy "A fascinating tour of the science and art of love. Helen Fisher takes the reader on an unforgettable journey through the human passions and how they lead to the most euphoric highs and the most anguished lows. From sage poets to brain scans, Why We Love provides the most gripping and scientifically sound book yet written about this most bafflingly complex human experience." --David M. Buss, author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating "Why We Love is an amazing and wonderful book. Using original neurophysiological research, surveying the literatures of the world, investigating tribal communities, compiling psychological data and many other resources, and writing in accessible language, Dr. Fisher provides a definitive answer to the question of questions. I could not put it down. It will become a basic reference and a classic." --Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want "If you want flashes and particular experiences of romantic love, read novels. If you want to understand this central quality of human nature to its roots, read Why We Love." --E. O. Wilson, university research professor emeritus, Harvard University, author of Consilience Excerpt The following is an excerpt from the book Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen Fisher, Ph.D. Published by Henry Holt; February 2004; $25.00US/$36.95CAN; 0-8050-6913-5 Copyright © 2004 Helen E. Fisher I "What Wild Ecstasy": Being In Love The world, for me, and all the world can hold Is circled by your arms; for me there lies, Within the lights and shadows of your eyes, The only beauty that is never old. James Weldon Johnson "Beauty That Is Never Old" "Fires run through my body -- the pain of loving you. Pain runs through my body with the fires of my love for you. Sickness wanders my body with my love for you. Pain like a boil about to burst with my love for you. Consumed by fire with my love for you. I remember what you said to me. I am thinking of your love for me. I am torn by your love for me. Pain and more pain. Where are you going with my love? I'm told you will go from here. I am told you will leave me here. My body is numb with grief. Remember what I've said, my love. Goodbye, my love, goodbye." So spoke an anonymous Kwakiutl Indian of southern Alaska in this wrenching poem, transcribed from the native tongue in 1896. How many men and women have loved each other in all the seasons that preceded you and me? How many of their dreams have been fulfilled; how many of their passions wasted? Often as I walk or sit and contemplate, I wonder at all the heartrending love affairs this planet has absorbed. Fortunately, men and women around the world have left us a great deal of evidence of their romantic lives. From Uruk, in ancient Sumer, come poems on cuneiform tablets that hail the passion of Inanna, Queen of Sumeria, for Dumuzi, a shepherd boy. "My beloved, the delight of my eyes," Inanna cried to him over four thousand years ago. Vedic and other Indian texts, the earliest dating between 1000 and 700 B.C., tell of Shiva, the mythic Lord of the Universe, who was infatuated with Sati, a young Indian girl. The god mused that "he saw Sati and himself on a mountain pinnacle / enlaced in love." For some, happiness would never come. Such was Qays, the son of a tribal chieftain in ancient Arabia. An Arabic legend, dating to the seventh century A.D., has it that Qays was a beautiful, brilliant boy -- until he met Layla, meaning "night" for her jet black hair. So intoxicated was Qays that one day he sprang from his school chair to race through the streets shouting out her name. Henceforth he was known as Majnun, or madman. Soon Majnun began to drift with the desert sand, living in caves with the animals, singing verses to his beloved, while Layla, cloistered in her father's tent, slipped out at night to toss love notes to the wind. Sympathetic passersby would bring these appeals to the wild-haired, almost-naked poet boy. Their mutual passion would eventually lead to war between their tribes -- and death to the lovers. Only this legend remains. Meilan also lived by dying. In the twelfth century A.D. Chinese fable "The Jade Goddess," Meilan was the pampered fifteen-year-old daughter of a high official in Kaifeng -- until she fell in love with Chang Po, a vivacious lad with long tapered fingers and a gift for carving jade. "Since the heaven and earth were created, you were made for me and I was made for you and I will not let you go," Chang Po declared to Meilan one morning in her family's garden. These lovers were of different classes in China's rigid, hierarchical social order, however. Desperate, they eloped -- then were soon discovered. He escaped. She was buried alive in her father's garden. But the tale of Meilan still haunts the souls of many Chinese. Romeo and Juliet, Paris and Helen, Orpheus and Eurydice, Abelard and Eloise, Troilus and Cressida, Tristan and Iseult: thousands of romantic poems, songs, and stories come across the centuries from ancestral Europe, as well as the Middle East, Japan, China, India, and every other society that has left written records. Even where people have no written documents, they have left evidence of this passion. In fact, in a survey of 166 varied cultures, anthropologists found evidence of romantic love in 147, almost 90 percent of them. In the remaining 19 societies, scientists had simply failed to examine this aspect of people's lives. But from Siberia to the Australian Outback to the Amazon, people sing love songs, compose love poems, and recount myths and legends of romantic love. Many perform love magic -- carrying amulets and charms or serving condiments or concoctions to stimulate romantic ardor. Many elope. And many suffer deeply from unrequited love. Some kill their lovers. Some kill themselves. Many sink into a sorrow so profound that they can hardly eat or sleep. From reading the poems, songs, and stories of people around the world, I came to believe that the capacity for romantic love is woven firmly into the fabric of the human brain. Romantic love is a universal human experience. What is this volatile, often uncontrollable feeling that hijacks the mind, bringing bliss one moment, despair the next? The Love Survey "O tell me the truth about love," exclaimed poet W. H. Auden. To understand what this profound human experience actually entails, I canvassed the psychological literature on romantic love, culling those traits, symptoms, or conditions that were mentioned repeatedly. Not surprising, this potent feeling is a complex of many specific traits. Then, to satisfy myself that these characteristics of romantic passion are universal, I used them as the basis for a questionnaire I designed on romantic love. And with the assistance of Michelle Cristiani, then a graduate student at Rutgers University, as well as Dr. Mariko Hasagawa and Dr. Toshikazu Hasagawa at the University of Tokyo, I distributed this survey among men and women at and around Rutgers University in New Jersey and the University of Tokyo. The poll began: "This questionnaire is about 'being in love,' the feelings of being infatuated, being passionate, or being strongly romantically attracted to someone. "If you are not currently 'in love' with someone, but felt very passionately about someone in the past, please answer the questions with that person in mind." Participants were then asked several demographic questions, covering age, financial background, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and marital status. I also asked questions about their love affairs. Among them: "How long have you been in love?" "About what percent of an average day does this person come into your thoughts?" And "Do you sometimes feel as if your feelings are out of your control?" Then came the body of the questionnaire (see the Appendix). It contained fifty-four statements, such as: "I have more energy when I am with ____." "My heart races when I hear ____'s voice on the phone." And "When I'm in class/at work my mind wanders to ____." I designed all these questions to reflect the characteristics most commonly associated with romantic love. Subjects were required to indicate to what extent they agreed with each query on a seven-point scale from "strongly disagree" to "strongly agree." A total of 437 Americans and 402 Japanese filled out the questionnaire. Then statisticians MacGregor Suzuki and Tony Oliva assembled all these data and did a statistical analysis. The results were astonishing. Age, gender, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, ethnic group: none of these human variables made much difference in the responses. For example, people of different age groups answered with no significant statistical differences on 82 percent of the statements. People over age forty-five reported being just as passionate about their loved one as those under age twenty-five. Heterosexuals and homosexuals gave similar responses on 86 percent of the questions. On 87 percent of the queries, American men and women responded virtually alike: there were few gender differences. American "whites" and "others" responded similarly on 82 percent of the questions: race played almost no role in romantic zeal. Catholics and Protestants showed no significant variance on 89 percent of the statements: church affiliation was not a factor. And where these groups did show "statistically significant" differences in their responses, one group was usually just a little more passionate than the other. The greatest differences were between the Americans and the Japanese. On most of the forty-three questions where they showed statistically significant variations, one nationality simply expressed somewhat greater romantic passion. And the twelve questions showing dramatic differences all appeared to have rather obvious cultural explanations. For example, only 24 percent of Americans agreed with the statement, "When I am talking to ____, I am often afraid that I will say the wrong thing," whereas a whopping 65 percent of Japanese agreed with this declaration. I suspect this particular variation occurred because young Japanese often have fewer and more formal relations with the opposite sex than Americans do. So, all things considered, within these two very different societies, men and women were much alike in their feelings of romantic passion. *endnotes have been omitted Copyright © 2004 Helen E. Fisher For more information, please visit www.writtenvoices.com
By Buzzle Staff and AgenciesPublished: 1/30/2004
By Helen Fisher, Ph.D. Published by Henry Holt February 2004; $25.00US/$36.95CAN; 0-8050-6913-5 Based on Groundbreaking Research, a Renowned Anthropologist Sheds New Light on the Mysteries of Romantic Attraction. The experience of romantic love -- the elation, mood swings, sleeplessness, and obsession -- cuts across time, geography, and gender. Until now, our understanding of love has largely been shaped by the wisdom of poets, the anecdotes of the lovestruck, the observations of psychologists, and the musings of brokenhearted musicians. In Why We Love, Helen Fisher offers new insight into this universal phenomenon based on her innovative scientific research. Working with a team of scientists to scan the brains of people who had just fallen madly in love, Fisher and her colleagues proved at last what psychologists had only suspected: when you fall in love, specific areas of the brain "light up" with increased blood flow. Using this data, she concludes that romantic passion is, in fact, hardwired into our brains by millions of years of evolution. It is not an emotion; it is a drive as powerful as hunger. In this fascinating look at our most fundamental urge, Fisher reveals exactly what you experience when you fall in love, why you choose one person rather than another, and how romantic love biologically affects your sex drive and your feelings of attachment to a partner. She shows that all animals feel romantic attraction, that love at first sight comes out of nature, and that human romance evolved for reasons crucial to survival. She also discusses differences in the male and female brains, and what this means for the way we love. Last, she offers concrete suggestions on how to control this ancient passion, and she optimistically explores the future of romantic love in our modern chaotic world. Provocative, enlightening, and persuasive, Why We Love offers radical new answers to age-old questions: What is love? Why do we fall in love? And how can we keep love alive? Author Helen Fisher, Ph.D., is one of this country's most prominent anthropologists. Prior to becoming a research professor at Rutgers University, she was a research associate at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City. Dr. Fisher has conducted extensive research on the evolution, expression, and chemistry of love. Her two most recent books, The First Sex and Anatomy of Love, were New York Times Notable Books. She grew up in Connecticut and lives in New York City. For more information, please visit www.writtenvoices.com Reviews "The most comprehensive and comprehensible account I have ever read of the brain chemistry of attachment. Read it and learn some of the most important lessons anyone can achieve: how and why we -- and other living things -- love." --David P. Barash, professor of psychology, University of Washington, author of The Survival Game and The Myth of Monogamy "A fascinating tour of the science and art of love. Helen Fisher takes the reader on an unforgettable journey through the human passions and how they lead to the most euphoric highs and the most anguished lows. From sage poets to brain scans, Why We Love provides the most gripping and scientifically sound book yet written about this most bafflingly complex human experience." --David M. Buss, author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating "Why We Love is an amazing and wonderful book. Using original neurophysiological research, surveying the literatures of the world, investigating tribal communities, compiling psychological data and many other resources, and writing in accessible language, Dr. Fisher provides a definitive answer to the question of questions. I could not put it down. It will become a basic reference and a classic." --Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want "If you want flashes and particular experiences of romantic love, read novels. If you want to understand this central quality of human nature to its roots, read Why We Love." --E. O. Wilson, university research professor emeritus, Harvard University, author of Consilience Excerpt The following is an excerpt from the book Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen Fisher, Ph.D. Published by Henry Holt; February 2004; $25.00US/$36.95CAN; 0-8050-6913-5 Copyright © 2004 Helen E. Fisher I "What Wild Ecstasy": Being In Love The world, for me, and all the world can hold Is circled by your arms; for me there lies, Within the lights and shadows of your eyes, The only beauty that is never old. James Weldon Johnson "Beauty That Is Never Old" "Fires run through my body -- the pain of loving you. Pain runs through my body with the fires of my love for you. Sickness wanders my body with my love for you. Pain like a boil about to burst with my love for you. Consumed by fire with my love for you. I remember what you said to me. I am thinking of your love for me. I am torn by your love for me. Pain and more pain. Where are you going with my love? I'm told you will go from here. I am told you will leave me here. My body is numb with grief. Remember what I've said, my love. Goodbye, my love, goodbye." So spoke an anonymous Kwakiutl Indian of southern Alaska in this wrenching poem, transcribed from the native tongue in 1896. How many men and women have loved each other in all the seasons that preceded you and me? How many of their dreams have been fulfilled; how many of their passions wasted? Often as I walk or sit and contemplate, I wonder at all the heartrending love affairs this planet has absorbed. Fortunately, men and women around the world have left us a great deal of evidence of their romantic lives. From Uruk, in ancient Sumer, come poems on cuneiform tablets that hail the passion of Inanna, Queen of Sumeria, for Dumuzi, a shepherd boy. "My beloved, the delight of my eyes," Inanna cried to him over four thousand years ago. Vedic and other Indian texts, the earliest dating between 1000 and 700 B.C., tell of Shiva, the mythic Lord of the Universe, who was infatuated with Sati, a young Indian girl. The god mused that "he saw Sati and himself on a mountain pinnacle / enlaced in love." For some, happiness would never come. Such was Qays, the son of a tribal chieftain in ancient Arabia. An Arabic legend, dating to the seventh century A.D., has it that Qays was a beautiful, brilliant boy -- until he met Layla, meaning "night" for her jet black hair. So intoxicated was Qays that one day he sprang from his school chair to race through the streets shouting out her name. Henceforth he was known as Majnun, or madman. Soon Majnun began to drift with the desert sand, living in caves with the animals, singing verses to his beloved, while Layla, cloistered in her father's tent, slipped out at night to toss love notes to the wind. Sympathetic passersby would bring these appeals to the wild-haired, almost-naked poet boy. Their mutual passion would eventually lead to war between their tribes -- and death to the lovers. Only this legend remains. Meilan also lived by dying. In the twelfth century A.D. Chinese fable "The Jade Goddess," Meilan was the pampered fifteen-year-old daughter of a high official in Kaifeng -- until she fell in love with Chang Po, a vivacious lad with long tapered fingers and a gift for carving jade. "Since the heaven and earth were created, you were made for me and I was made for you and I will not let you go," Chang Po declared to Meilan one morning in her family's garden. These lovers were of different classes in China's rigid, hierarchical social order, however. Desperate, they eloped -- then were soon discovered. He escaped. She was buried alive in her father's garden. But the tale of Meilan still haunts the souls of many Chinese. Romeo and Juliet, Paris and Helen, Orpheus and Eurydice, Abelard and Eloise, Troilus and Cressida, Tristan and Iseult: thousands of romantic poems, songs, and stories come across the centuries from ancestral Europe, as well as the Middle East, Japan, China, India, and every other society that has left written records. Even where people have no written documents, they have left evidence of this passion. In fact, in a survey of 166 varied cultures, anthropologists found evidence of romantic love in 147, almost 90 percent of them. In the remaining 19 societies, scientists had simply failed to examine this aspect of people's lives. But from Siberia to the Australian Outback to the Amazon, people sing love songs, compose love poems, and recount myths and legends of romantic love. Many perform love magic -- carrying amulets and charms or serving condiments or concoctions to stimulate romantic ardor. Many elope. And many suffer deeply from unrequited love. Some kill their lovers. Some kill themselves. Many sink into a sorrow so profound that they can hardly eat or sleep. From reading the poems, songs, and stories of people around the world, I came to believe that the capacity for romantic love is woven firmly into the fabric of the human brain. Romantic love is a universal human experience. What is this volatile, often uncontrollable feeling that hijacks the mind, bringing bliss one moment, despair the next? The Love Survey "O tell me the truth about love," exclaimed poet W. H. Auden. To understand what this profound human experience actually entails, I canvassed the psychological literature on romantic love, culling those traits, symptoms, or conditions that were mentioned repeatedly. Not surprising, this potent feeling is a complex of many specific traits. Then, to satisfy myself that these characteristics of romantic passion are universal, I used them as the basis for a questionnaire I designed on romantic love. And with the assistance of Michelle Cristiani, then a graduate student at Rutgers University, as well as Dr. Mariko Hasagawa and Dr. Toshikazu Hasagawa at the University of Tokyo, I distributed this survey among men and women at and around Rutgers University in New Jersey and the University of Tokyo. The poll began: "This questionnaire is about 'being in love,' the feelings of being infatuated, being passionate, or being strongly romantically attracted to someone. "If you are not currently 'in love' with someone, but felt very passionately about someone in the past, please answer the questions with that person in mind." Participants were then asked several demographic questions, covering age, financial background, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and marital status. I also asked questions about their love affairs. Among them: "How long have you been in love?" "About what percent of an average day does this person come into your thoughts?" And "Do you sometimes feel as if your feelings are out of your control?" Then came the body of the questionnaire (see the Appendix). It contained fifty-four statements, such as: "I have more energy when I am with ____." "My heart races when I hear ____'s voice on the phone." And "When I'm in class/at work my mind wanders to ____." I designed all these questions to reflect the characteristics most commonly associated with romantic love. Subjects were required to indicate to what extent they agreed with each query on a seven-point scale from "strongly disagree" to "strongly agree." A total of 437 Americans and 402 Japanese filled out the questionnaire. Then statisticians MacGregor Suzuki and Tony Oliva assembled all these data and did a statistical analysis. The results were astonishing. Age, gender, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, ethnic group: none of these human variables made much difference in the responses. For example, people of different age groups answered with no significant statistical differences on 82 percent of the statements. People over age forty-five reported being just as passionate about their loved one as those under age twenty-five. Heterosexuals and homosexuals gave similar responses on 86 percent of the questions. On 87 percent of the queries, American men and women responded virtually alike: there were few gender differences. American "whites" and "others" responded similarly on 82 percent of the questions: race played almost no role in romantic zeal. Catholics and Protestants showed no significant variance on 89 percent of the statements: church affiliation was not a factor. And where these groups did show "statistically significant" differences in their responses, one group was usually just a little more passionate than the other. The greatest differences were between the Americans and the Japanese. On most of the forty-three questions where they showed statistically significant variations, one nationality simply expressed somewhat greater romantic passion. And the twelve questions showing dramatic differences all appeared to have rather obvious cultural explanations. For example, only 24 percent of Americans agreed with the statement, "When I am talking to ____, I am often afraid that I will say the wrong thing," whereas a whopping 65 percent of Japanese agreed with this declaration. I suspect this particular variation occurred because young Japanese often have fewer and more formal relations with the opposite sex than Americans do. So, all things considered, within these two very different societies, men and women were much alike in their feelings of romantic passion. *endnotes have been omitted Copyright © 2004 Helen E. Fisher For more information, please visit www.writtenvoices.com
By Buzzle Staff and AgenciesPublished: 1/30/2004
Sunday, August 30, 2009
How to Stop Being Shy
How to Stop Being Shy
Do you think that you are unable to enjoy good things in life just because you are shy? It's time you set yourself free and stop being shy. In this article we provide you with some suggestions on how to stop being shy. All of us deserve to be able to enjoy life without being bothered about anything. However, those who are shy hold themselves back from doing so. If you really want to stop being shy, it is very important that you come out of your shell and try to be yourself. You have to make an effort from your side to meet new people. By sitting at home or in a secluded place you cannot expect people to come and befriend you. You have to have an attitude of positive thinking and go out towards other.
Ways on How to Stop Being Shy?
For an introvert person, shyness can be an inherent personality trait. However, it can be reduced to some extent by taking certain steps. Here, we have discussed them in detail.
Improve your Self-esteem
Try to figure out the root cause of your shyness. Basically, there are two major reasons that make a person shy. One, they are extremely self conscious about themselves. As a result, they tend to put a lot attention on whether they are behaving in the right manner or not. Two, they have a tendency to have a negative attitude about themselves. They tend to feel that there is nothing interesting about themselves, and are not worth anyone's attention. Both these factors make them very nervous and they withdraw themselves in a cocoon. All of us have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. Understand your strong points and keep your focus on them. Accept the fact that there is nothing wrong to be different, and make sure you appreciate yourself the way you are. Spend some more time in improving your physical appearance. It makes a lot of difference in your self confidence. When you look at yourself in the mirror and feel good about yourself, then you can feel more confident about yourself while approaching a person, known or unknown.
Practice Conversation
There is an old saying that practice makes a man perfect. As you are a shy person, you are aware that you are not good in conversations with people, but you can make it better by practicing more and more. To start with, stand in front of the mirror, think of a subject on which you can speak comfortably and practice speaking to yourself. It may sound really silly, but it works. Then take the help of a good friend who can help you in this regard. Both of you can role-play to make yourself easier with conversation. Then go out and meet strangers and strike a conversation. Initially, you can approach people in some quiet places, book stores or coffee shop, as they will be easily approachable than people who are in a loud party. Observe others who are good conversation starters. It could be one of your friend or a stranger in the party. Now you are ready to go to crowded places with friends. Approach any such person who is standing aloof in the crowd. A one-on-one conversation is much easier than speaking in a group. Once you start a conversation, you will find your nervousness is gone. As you meet more and more people, you can ascertain the kind of people you are comfortable with.
Learn to Relax
Those who are shy find it very difficult to communicate with others as they feel anxiety and a lot of discomfort in doing so. They often have a hidden fear that they may speak something really stupid and will get humiliated. They often fail to decide what to say. You can overcome the fear of rejection by preparing your mind for the worst possible consequences. If you are ignored by someone, do not take it personally. Move on and you will find more interesting people in your life. In a large crowd, if you feel that the shyness is taking control of your senses, shift your attention on other things around you. This will prevent you from being self conscious.
Anxiety and fear are emotions that are difficult to suppress. The most simple method to get rid of anxiety is to learn the techniques of relaxation. Close your eyes and focus all your attention on your breathing. Keep the rhythm of breathing slow and after sometime, you will find that all your anxious thoughts are gone. Practice of yoga and meditation can also help you in controlling the anxiousness forever. Other exercises such as walking and jogging also helps in refreshing the mind and release of tension.
You should stop being shy of meeting people and start conversation with them. It is also very essential for achieving your personal goals and flourishing in life. It can help you to bring out your hidden talent that lies within you.
By Bidisha Mukherjee
Published: 8/28/2009
Do you think that you are unable to enjoy good things in life just because you are shy? It's time you set yourself free and stop being shy. In this article we provide you with some suggestions on how to stop being shy. All of us deserve to be able to enjoy life without being bothered about anything. However, those who are shy hold themselves back from doing so. If you really want to stop being shy, it is very important that you come out of your shell and try to be yourself. You have to make an effort from your side to meet new people. By sitting at home or in a secluded place you cannot expect people to come and befriend you. You have to have an attitude of positive thinking and go out towards other.
Ways on How to Stop Being Shy?
For an introvert person, shyness can be an inherent personality trait. However, it can be reduced to some extent by taking certain steps. Here, we have discussed them in detail.
Improve your Self-esteem
Try to figure out the root cause of your shyness. Basically, there are two major reasons that make a person shy. One, they are extremely self conscious about themselves. As a result, they tend to put a lot attention on whether they are behaving in the right manner or not. Two, they have a tendency to have a negative attitude about themselves. They tend to feel that there is nothing interesting about themselves, and are not worth anyone's attention. Both these factors make them very nervous and they withdraw themselves in a cocoon. All of us have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. Understand your strong points and keep your focus on them. Accept the fact that there is nothing wrong to be different, and make sure you appreciate yourself the way you are. Spend some more time in improving your physical appearance. It makes a lot of difference in your self confidence. When you look at yourself in the mirror and feel good about yourself, then you can feel more confident about yourself while approaching a person, known or unknown.
Practice Conversation
There is an old saying that practice makes a man perfect. As you are a shy person, you are aware that you are not good in conversations with people, but you can make it better by practicing more and more. To start with, stand in front of the mirror, think of a subject on which you can speak comfortably and practice speaking to yourself. It may sound really silly, but it works. Then take the help of a good friend who can help you in this regard. Both of you can role-play to make yourself easier with conversation. Then go out and meet strangers and strike a conversation. Initially, you can approach people in some quiet places, book stores or coffee shop, as they will be easily approachable than people who are in a loud party. Observe others who are good conversation starters. It could be one of your friend or a stranger in the party. Now you are ready to go to crowded places with friends. Approach any such person who is standing aloof in the crowd. A one-on-one conversation is much easier than speaking in a group. Once you start a conversation, you will find your nervousness is gone. As you meet more and more people, you can ascertain the kind of people you are comfortable with.
Learn to Relax
Those who are shy find it very difficult to communicate with others as they feel anxiety and a lot of discomfort in doing so. They often have a hidden fear that they may speak something really stupid and will get humiliated. They often fail to decide what to say. You can overcome the fear of rejection by preparing your mind for the worst possible consequences. If you are ignored by someone, do not take it personally. Move on and you will find more interesting people in your life. In a large crowd, if you feel that the shyness is taking control of your senses, shift your attention on other things around you. This will prevent you from being self conscious.
Anxiety and fear are emotions that are difficult to suppress. The most simple method to get rid of anxiety is to learn the techniques of relaxation. Close your eyes and focus all your attention on your breathing. Keep the rhythm of breathing slow and after sometime, you will find that all your anxious thoughts are gone. Practice of yoga and meditation can also help you in controlling the anxiousness forever. Other exercises such as walking and jogging also helps in refreshing the mind and release of tension.
You should stop being shy of meeting people and start conversation with them. It is also very essential for achieving your personal goals and flourishing in life. It can help you to bring out your hidden talent that lies within you.
By Bidisha Mukherjee
Published: 8/28/2009
Msc Programme Chemistry I T.U.
The structure of the course for the Master's degree will be as follows:
Subjects Course Number Full Marks Pass Marks
Inoraganic Chemistry Chem 511 100 40
Physical Chemistry Chem 512 100 40
Organic chemistry Chem 513 100 40
Research Methodology Chem 514 100 40
Inorganic Chemistry Practical Chem 515 100 40
Physical Chemestry Practical Chem 516 100 40
Organic chemistry Practical Chem 517 100 40
#Submission of a term paper in research methodology course is a prerequisite to appear in the first year final examination
Subjects Course Number Full Marks Pass Marks
Inoraganic Chemistry Chem 511 100 40
Physical Chemistry Chem 512 100 40
Organic chemistry Chem 513 100 40
Research Methodology Chem 514 100 40
Inorganic Chemistry Practical Chem 515 100 40
Physical Chemestry Practical Chem 516 100 40
Organic chemistry Practical Chem 517 100 40
#Submission of a term paper in research methodology course is a prerequisite to appear in the first year final examination
Friday, August 28, 2009
Term Paper
When writing a term paper you should not dilly dally on the introduction to make it more than half the length of your essay. The introduction should be to the point and should tell the reader enough background on what the term paper is all about and why you choose to study it. The rest of the paper will describe what tests and other experiments you conducted and what tools you used to carry out these tests and experiments. Please remember that when you are giving the description your laboratory apparatuses be sure that you are specific with the make and measurement. This is because the person checking your paper will be very critical while checking your paper and will not hesitate to show you your mistakes.
The rest of the paper will be about describing what you observed from the tests and what these tests prove to you. You should also explain who will benefit from these tests and under what conditions in which they should be performed. There are many experiments that are to be conducted under strict supervision. Be careful not to interlace topic headings with each other. When you are talking about the experiment you should not talk about results and vice versa.
Taken from:http://www.howtowritetermpapers.com/chemistry.htm
The rest of the paper will be about describing what you observed from the tests and what these tests prove to you. You should also explain who will benefit from these tests and under what conditions in which they should be performed. There are many experiments that are to be conducted under strict supervision. Be careful not to interlace topic headings with each other. When you are talking about the experiment you should not talk about results and vice versa.
Taken from:http://www.howtowritetermpapers.com/chemistry.htm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)